Rebel, Rebel: 6 Things I Refuse to Do to Lose Weight
There is some bad advice out there.
1. Eat clean all the time.
I “eat clean” probably 70% of the time. There are folks that do it 100% of time—which to me is only practical if you cook all of your meals and only eat at home.
Because it’s rude to not eat a meal that’s put in front of you because it has corn syrup. And if your diet is making you an b-hole, is that really worth it?
Yes, I do feel better when I eat grilled chicken and broccoli compared to a double bacon cheeseburger.
But the double bacon cheeseburger tastes better with a beer.
2. Weigh my food.
That’s just ridiculous. I’m busy. I work 9 hour days with an hour commute back and forth + a daily workout. I don’t have time to weigh food on a scale. You down with OCD?
3. Diet
Diets are marketing ploys that are designed to deliver short term results but long term failure while playing on people’s ignorance on why they got and how they stay fat.
I lost a lot of weight doing the slow-carb thing. Funny though—budgeting calories has produced the same results at the same pace—and I don’t feel like I’m suffering.
4. Dehydrate myself
I’m not proud of it, but a few years ago I sat in steam rooms and skipped water afterwards to influence a weigh-in. That’s dangerous—and counterproductive to getting healthy, yet still commonplace on The Biggest Loser.
5. Punish my spouse
I read about people throwing all junk food out of their house and getting angry when the spouse decides to have a bowl of ice cream.
That’s just ridiculous and will add unnecessary tension to a relationship. I wasn’t force-fed—I made myself fat. Sure, they shouldn’t enable you—but you shouldn’t punish them.
And saying that them eating a bowl of ice cream is showing a lack of support for you is just manipulative.
6. Put my head in the sand
If you haven’t figured it out, I hold strong opinions—but I still have lots to learn. I’m not faking humility here—I know that I’m not seeing the whole picture. There are people who have come before me and done what I’m striving to do—I am constantly scanning their stories looking for insight.
In fact, one of the tenets of this thiiird way is to stay flexible and teachable.
I don’t want to be a fundamentalist.
I’m just a few weeks from being below 300 lbs for the first time in recent memory. I’m putting muscle on my frame. Sleeping better than ever.
I’m getting a glimpse of the man I am becoming and the life I’ve missed out on—without doing things that compromise my conscience.
I would like to disagree with you and your tone about a couple of things you’ve mentioned.
The way I see it, you’re putting others down if they weigh their food. You have every right to refuse to do it, but there are plenty of people who do it and have success doing it, me being one of them. So calling it ridiculous is somewhat off putting. I could be the only one in the room thinking that, but I just wanted to throw it out there. It’s not necessarily OCD, it’s a way to train yourself to be able to eyeball serving sizes later on.
Second, on punishing spouses. I will agree that punishing one’s spouse is not the way to go about things when it comes to losing weight. However, if one’s spouse is an enabler, and does nothing but try to sabotage one’s efforts to lead a healthier lifestyle (whether they are aware they’re doing it or not), then I see nothing wrong with getting upset and annoyed when they blatantly eat a bowl of ice cream and not shut up about how delicious and amazing it is, and how you’re missing out by not eating it. The latter comes from my own personal experience. Sure, we are ultimately the ones who are held accountable for what we eat, but it gets a little depressing when your own spouse doesn’t support your efforts.
That being said, yes, you’re entitled to your opinions and, what works for you might not work for others and visa versa. But acting high and mighty about it only makes you look like an ass.
To me anyway.
I appreciate the feedback. And if I’m honest, I too wondered if my tone wasn’t very helpful—so I regret that some of what I was trying to convey was lost in words that, perhaps, could have been revised.
There is a helpful mantra in this community that says “do what works for you”, and I would also second that. If all the things I refuse to do work for you or anyone else—by all means, do them.
Weighing food is actually a proven practice—and it’s one that I probably don’t understand very well. My problem with that advice is that it’s just not practical for many people (eating out, or eating at a relative’s house)—and I want to remove as many barriers as I can between people of poor health and good habits. I believe in keeping it simple so that the advice is more accessible. The more expectations I add that are really just preferences, the more people I remove from the conversation.
I don’t know if my thoughts about punishing my spouse fits your situation. I really don’t know you, so I’m not qualified to speak to your situation. In general, I feel that spouses should not feel like they are in a hostile environment and that it should work both ways.
So for the sake of example, I shouldn’t be made to feel like a killjoy when I take a salad over a streudel, but she shouldn’t be made to feel like she can’t enjoy that streudel just because I’m having the salad. Any other option just seems like a recipe for disaster.
I am fortunate to have a spouse who supports my efforts, so it’s hard for me to imagine a different situation, which I’m sure would be challenging.
But, then again, my diet allows me to have the “streudel” every now and then.
I appreciate the criticism. Sometimes I stir the pot to get conversation started—but if all it does is make me look like I’m acting superior, than it’s counterproductive. If that becomes a pattern in the feedback, I’ll consider changing the approach—but I do want this to be a place where people think, even if they don’t agree.
Thank you for reading and responding.
LOL! I weigh my food, and it really doesn’t take that much time–the key is a good, easy-to-use scale. That said, I think eyeballing things is perfectly acceptable. I eyeball things a lot! Like, “This recipe is 5 points per serving and should make four 1.5-cup servings…This looks like about a quarter of the pan.” I’m all about common sense–if you can eyeball it and it won’t make that much of a difference, meh.
Also, I agree that you shouldn’t punish your spouse. Pete has a magical metabolism and will never, never be fat. So he can eat the damn Oreos if he wants. I am, however, starting to force-feed him veggies and fruit because I care about him and heart disease runs in his family. But if he brings treats into the house, that’s fine. And if I’m having a hard time resisting them, I simply ask him to hide them. Shockingly, he’s usually OK with wresting the Chex Mix from my grip.
Good thoughts Kate. I often will measure out ingredients and I often do “eyeball” things so maybe I do weigh some things. I guess the picture I have in my head of carrying around a scale for every meal is not very accurate.
Yeah sounds like I have the female equivalent of Pete in terms of metabolism. Good to also point out that skinny isn’t always healthy—and heart disease is a real thing. The spectre of heart disease is very sobering for me—one of my many motivations for trying to be less of “this”.
I don’t weigh my food anymore for that very same reason – but damn did it take a long time to get used to what a normal serving size was. I was incredibly miscalculating what an ounce of almonds was. I still count those, because it is very easy for me to overindulge. I can eyeball a cup of almond milk like nobody’s business though!
I used to eat a handful of nuts when hunger would come but it never seemed to do the trick. I tried brazil nuts for a while. I only feel like it bought me a half hour of satiation.
Almond milk. Is it worth it?
Hi Chris! Well, you have really thought-provoking comments today! Awesome for you! (No blog is that good if the blogger won’t take a stance and doesn’t have followers who feel free to disagree.)
Okay. I eat some food that makes me feel like a rebel–meaning it isn’t goody-goody food. The rebellious food gives me a little bratty breath from all of the good eating I do.
I initially do some calorie checks and measurements to get a calorie total, but then when I eat the same thing, I estimate. I agree with other commenters that this is a *very valuable* practice.
I don’t try to fix my family and their food issues because it takes too much mental energy, and I only have enough energy for one person to fix her diet–me. One of the main reasons why I’ve been so successful is that I quit fighting with my family about it. They can eat what they want to. But if they bring home my favorites too often, I will go up to my room and stay there while they eat it, which isn’t too fun for them. So they have worked around my decision to not eat like a big fatty a little bit, but not too much. And then, like you, I praise myself for my successes and blame myself entirely for my mis-eats.
And for you, Chris, if it works then it works.
Marion thanks for the support. Good thoughts on navigating the tension with family. Your example may be the best argument.
Congratulations on your progress! You have reminded me that it feels good!
It seems you hit upon a couple of emotional issues. I don’t weigh my food either, but I did find the Body For Life method of eyeballing portions helpful for re-training my notions about serving size. Fist-size for complex carbs, palm-size for lean protein, unlimited veggies and thumb-size for fats (including avocados, cheese and nuts). It isn’t perfect, but compare it with the average restaurant plate!
I’m blessed with a sympathetic husband who also struggles with weight, so I don’t have that kind of drama in the house. We both succeed sometimes, and fail sometimes without sabotage or recrimination, but I know that’s rare.
My problem is with eating in groups of family or friends. I have learned to quietly try to make healthy choices, but people still seem to feel the need to defend their choices, or bash mine, when they see my plate or hear my order. I shrug it off with “I just prefer veggies” or, “I’m not all that hungry.” Conversely, if I do have a splurge, it feels as though I’m the recipient of disapproving stares of the “no wonder she’s overweight” variety. I’m growing a thicker skin, but it would be nice if food could became a non-issue in a social setting.
Yes, it’s true that skinny does not equal healthy! Why do people think that? I know several thin people who rarely touch a vegetable. They have diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and IBS.
Of all the diets I’ve seen BFL and WW are probably the most well-rounded. I take issue with both but they are proven systems that have helped a lot of people.
Glad you have a good spouse as well.
Yeah I’ve seen that type of hostility and it’s not pretty. I have to admit that as a guy I feel like I can get away with a lot. If I’m eating well then “good for you” or if I’m loosening the belt then I’m a “hungry man”. Men definitely seem to have it easier. That’s actually an idea for a future post..hmmm.
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